Thursday, April 22, 2010

JUST THINKING

WE ALL HAVE TIMES THAT WE JUST NEED TO GET SOMETHING THAT IS GONNA DO US GOOD.

WELL CHRIS AND I TALKED SEVERAL TIMES IN THE PAST ABOUT LOOKING AROUND FOR ANOTHER RIDE. THE MOTHER SHIP -ARMADA- IS SUCH A GOOD RIDE. SHE STILL LOOKS GOOD AFTER 3 YEARS. WE WANTED SOMETHING THAT GIVES US BETTER GAS MILEAGE AND WE CHOSE TO GET AN ALTIMA (YES ANOTHER NISSAN). THE ALTIMA IS SMALLER AND THE KIDS LOOKED SO CRAMPED BUT THEY LIKE IT. SHE WILL BE USED FOR LONG TRAVELS THAT WE HAVE PLANNED TO DO. WE WELCOME HER WITH OPEN ARMS AND OPEN BANK ACCOUNT. LOL

THINGS HERE HAVE BEEN GOING WELL. THE TWINS ARE PLAYING SOFTBALL AND SEEM TO ENJOY IT SO MUCH. EMILY IS THE CATCHER AND I SEE HER LEARNING MORE AT EACH GAME. SHE WILL THROW THAT MASK OF AND GRAB THAT BALL AND HOLD IT LIKE SHE DARES SOMEONE TO TRY HER. ERICA IS PLAYING THE FIELD. LITERALLY. SHE HAS BEEN PLAYING OUTFIELD, AND INFIELD. COACH DENNY IS MAKING HER VERSATILE. I ENJOY WATCHING THEM PLAY. IT MAKES MY HEART JUST BURST FROM EXCITEMENT AND JOY.

CHRIS AND I ARE DOING GREAT. OUR RELATIONSHIP IS GROWING EACH AND EVERY DAY. I CANT AT THIS POINT IMAGINE WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE WITHOUT HIM IN IT. WE ARE A COUPLE THAT I SEE TOGETHER FOREVER. IT FEELS GREAT TO HAVE SOMEONE THAT MAKES YOUR LIVER QUIVER. (JUST AN OLD SAYING)

WELL I SIT HERE WAITING ON THE GIRLS TO GET HOME FROM SCHOOL AND I REALIZE THAT THIS IS WHAT DREAMS ARE MADE OF. THE KIDS, AND A MAN THAT MAKES YOUR WORLD GO AROUND.

Monday, March 15, 2010

WHY CANT I THINK?

I OFTEN WANT TO WRITE ON HERE BUT SELDOM DO I FEEL I HAVE MUCH TO SAY THAT IS WORTH SAYING. DONT GET ME WRONG I CAN TALK AND I CAN TYPE BUT I FEEL THAT WHAT I AM THINKING ISNT WHAT SOMEONE WOULD WANT TO READ.

I LIVE MY LIFE AS EASILY AS I CAN AND LOVE MY FAMILY AND MY FRIENDS. I DO THE NORMAL EVERYDAY STUFF. I WAKE UP ( WITH THE BLESSING OF THE LORD) AND I GET THE KIDS UP FOR THEM TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL. I CARRY THEM TO SCHOOL. THE GIRLS STILL RIDE WITH ME. MATTHEW, WELL HE HAS STARTED RIDING THE BUS BECAUSE HE THINKS THAT WE GIRLS ARE TOO SLOW AND HE WANTS TO GET TO SCHOOL EARLIER. THIS DOES NOT BOTHER ME IN THE LEAST BECAUSE IT GIVES HIM A RESPONSIBILITY OF GETTING UP AND BEING READY BEFORE A CERTAIN TIME.

THE GIRLS ..WELL THEY STILL SLACK A LITTLE SOME MORNINGS BUT SO DO I. THEY SO THEIR THING AND WE MEET AT THE BACK DOOR. I NEVER HEAR ANY COMPLAINTS UNLESS ITS ME RUNNING LATE. I STILL NEED TO FIGURE OUT WHY IT IS THEY ARE SO INTENT ON GETTING TO SCHOOL SO EARLY. I HAVE TRIED TO EXTEND MY EAR ON SOME OF THEIR LITTLE CONVERSATIONS AND I QUICKLY START NODDING MY HEAD WHEN I HEAR THEM TALK ABOUT BOYS. THEY ARE "DATING" THIS PERSON AND THAT PERSON. I DONT SAY MUCH BECAUSE I KNOW THEY ARE STILL TOO YOUNG TO REALLY UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT. THEY ALL NOW HAVE A NEW LINGO FOR THINGS SO AS A PARENT I LISTEN AND INTERRUPT WHEN NECESSARY. I THINK THEY JUST WANT TO SOCIALIZE THOUGH. I CANT SAY MUCH, I LIKED TO TALK TOO. IN FACT, I GOT IN THE MOST TROUBLE FOR TALKING .

I WRITE ON THIS BLOG THINGS THAT I JUST THINK ABOUT. IT MIGHT NOT BE APPROPRIATE OR IT MIGHT NOT BE INTERESTING TO ANYONE BUT ME. AT THE TIME OF TYPING ITS WHAT IM THINKING. INTERESTING OR NOT!!! ITS MY MIND AT WORK.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

HOW TIME FLYS..WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE.

WELL, TODAY ITS BEEN A YEAR THAT CHRIS AND I HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN TOGETHER. WE STARTED TALKING MONTHS BEFORE (LIKE 4-OCTOBER 08). WE SETTLED ON FEBRUARY 26, 2009 DUE TO THE FACT THAT THIS WAS THE DAY THAT HE STARTED STAYING WITH ME AND THE GIRLS.

I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE HAD BEEN TALKING BUT WE NEEDED TO GET THE PAST IN ITS CORRECT PLACE. IN THE PAST. I NEEDED TO MAKE SURE THAT MY PAST WAS FINAL AND I WANTED TO GIVE HIM TIME TO DO THE SAME.

ALL OF THAT IS IN THE PAST AND TODAY IS A GOOD DAY. I HAVE LOVED THIS MAN SINCE THE BEGINNING. I KNEW ..WELL MY HEART KNEW THAT HE WAS MY SOUL MATE.

MY HEART IS TAKEN FOR LIFE. I KNOW YOU MUST SAY "ARE YOU SURE?" WELL YES I KNOW THAT HE IS MY BEST FRIEND. HE IS THE ONE HAT I DREAM WITH, LAUGH WITH LIVE FOR AND LOVE.

WE SHARE KIDS FROM DIFFERENT TIMES IN OUR LIVES BUT OUR LOVE HAS BONDED THEM AS IF THEY HAD BEEN BROTHERS AND SISTERS ALL ALONG. I PROMISE YOU THAT THEY FIGHT LIKE IT, BUT LOVE EACHOTHER WHEN ONE IS DOWN.

IT SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY WHEN CHRIS FIRST TEXT ME AND SAID " I SEE YOU".
HOW IN THE WORLD DID SUCH A SHORT SENTENCE START THE JOURNEY OF A LIFE TIME.

I BOUGHT CHRIS A CARD TODAY THAT SAID THAT SAME THING. THAT EVEN THOUGH I DIDNT KNOW IT AT THE TIME ..MY HEART DID. THAT OUR LIVES ..ALL THE MISTAKES AND ALL THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS ; THE ROADS NO MATTER THE RIGHT OR WRONG TURNS; THEY LED US TO EACHOTHER.

ITS BEEN SUCH A WONDERFUL JOURNEY SO FAR AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THE LONG JOURNEY THAT I HOPE TO HAVE WITH HIM.

HE IS MY SOULMATE, HE IS MY BEST FRIEND, AND I LOVE HIM WITH ALL MY HEART.

THANKS FOR ALL THE MEMORIES WE'VE HAD AND THE MEMORIES THAT ARE TOO COME.

LOVE YOU CHRIS.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

THE PICTURE TO GO WITH PREVIOUS POST


I HAD A HARD TIME WITH THE PICTURE I WANTED EVERYONE TO SEE. YOU KNOW THE "SIGN" PICTURE. I HAVE FINALLY GOT IT WORKING I HOPE AND I THINK YOU ALL WILL GET A GOOD LAUGH AT ME FOR THINKING THE WAY I DO. OK HERE IT IS!
THIS BOY IS AFTER MY HEART. WELL HE KNOWS I LOVE HIM AND HE ALSO KNOWS I LOVE HIS DAD. THANKS MATTHEW THIS MADE MY DAY.!!!!

WHATS IN A NAME...?

SOMETIMES I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT ALOT OF STUFF BUT THE OTHERS I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO WRITE.
THATS THE THING, I HAVE ALOT OF IDEAS ON WHAT TO WRITE BUT TO PUT THEM ON PAPER TO ME SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. I FEEL LIKE WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ISNT THAT IMPORTANT SO WHY WASTE THE TIME. I KNOW THAT ONE DAY MY KIDS WILL WANT TO KNOW ALL OF WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND HOW I WAS FEELING AND WHAT THEY WERE DOING AND SO FORTH BUT HOW TO MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL AND JOT IT DOWN INTO WORDS...MAN MY BRAIN IS SMOKING ALREADY...LOL

THIS PAST WEEKEND IT SNOWED HERE IN JOHNSONVILLE. IT DOESNT DO THAT MUCH HERE SO THE KIDS WERE LIKE A KID IN A CANDY SHOP. THEY WENT OUTSIDE FRIDAY NIGHT IN THE DARK AND PLAYED. THEY APPARENTLY DIDNT REALIZE THAT SNOW IS ICE AND ONE THING IT IS COLD AND ANOTHER THING IS ITS DOES MELT. THEY CAME TO THE DOOR "WOO ITS COLD...MAN OUR CLOTHES ARE WET" WELL "DUH". WHAT DID MOM SAY? STRIP AT THE DOOR. THEY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I HAD LOST MY MIND. I DIDNT STUDDER SO THEY DID WHAT THEY WERE TOLD. IT WAS KINDA FUNNY TO WATCH. THEY DID ENJOY THEMSELVES THOUGH. THEIR HANDS WERE RED AND FACES WERE TOO. THEY ALL TOOK WARM BATHS TO GET THEIR BODIES BACK TO NORMAL BUT WERE READY TO HEAD OUT AGAIN THE NEXT MORNING. THEY BUILT A SNOWMAN AND WE TOOK PICTURES TO REMEMBER ALL OF IT BY. MATTHEW, OH LORD, MATTHEW. THIS BOY THINKS OF THINGS THAT IT IS NOT POSSIBLE FOR ANOTHER CHILD TO THINK OF. HE COMES IN WITH THE CAMERA AND SHOWS ME A PICTURE OF THE ROOF. YES THE ROOF FACING THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE. THE ONE THAT EVERYONE COMES BY AND CAN SEE. I AM GONNA TRY AND POST A PICTURE OF WHAT HE DID. SO HOPEFULLY I AM SUCCESSFUL ON THAT. IT MADE MY HEART BEAT A LITTLE FASTER. I DO LOVE THAT BOY FOR DOING THAT. ITS JUST A ME THING. AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE A "SIGN"

A SIGN THAT ONE DAY WILL BE TOTALLY COME TRUE.!!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

WHY? DO YOU HAVE THE ANSWERS

DO YOU EVER WONDER WHY?
WHY WE DID THIS, WHY WE DIDNT DO THIS, WHY DO WE ASK WHY?, ETC.

I JUST SOMETIMES WONDER WHY IT IS THAT I SIT HERE AND TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO TYPE IN THIS BLOG. I WONDER IF MY KIDS WILL SOMEDAY LOOK BACK WHILE READING THIS AND PICTURE ME ..THIS NIGHT, SITTING ON THE BED, JUST LOVED THEM GOODNIGHT AND LOVING THEM WITH ALL MY HEART. I DO LOVE MY KIDS.

WE ARE A FAMILY AND I HAVE LEARNED TO LOVE MY DAILY LIFE. I HAVE FOUND A POINT IN TIME THAT I AM VERY HAPPY. I THANK CHRIS FOR THAT. HE HAS SHOWED ME THAT LOVE IS NOT JUST ANOTHER EMOTION. IT IS MORE THAN A EMOTION, IT IS A FEELING THAT NOTHING CAN COMPARE TOO.

I WANT EVERYONE THAT READS THIS TO KNOW THAT I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE THIS HAPPY. I WILL NOT ASK "WHY" ME AND I WILL NOT ASK FOR ANY ANWERS.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

SORRY FOR THE DELAY

ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT POSTING. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THE MORE I WANT TO DO SOMETHING THE LESS I DO.
SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AROUND HERE THAT I HONESTLY DONT THINK I HAVE ENOUGH SPACE TO TELL IT ALL.
I THINK THE BEST THING TO DO IS JUST TELL WHAT I CAN THINK ABOUT AT THE MOMENT AND JUST HAVE A CONTINUATION LATER.

ALL IS WELL HERE TO START OFF WITH. WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY SINCE THE LAST TIME I WROTE.

THANKSGIVING HAS COME AND GONE, CHRISTMAS HAS COME AND GONE, THE NEW YEAR HAS COME IN AND ALREADY THE TIME IS PASSING BY SO QUICKLY. ITS ALMOST THE END OF JANUARY AND I FEEL LIKE I JUST GOT OFF THE ROLLERCOASTER RIDE CALLED THE HOLIDAYS. JUST A NOTE THOUGH; THE HOLIDAYS WERE GREAT. I COOKED THANKSGIVING DINNER AND WE ALL ATE TIL WE WERE ABOUT TO POP. CHRISTMAS WAS HERE BEFORE WE KNEW IT. MATTHEW WENT TO HIS MOMS FOR CHRISTMAS SO IT WAS LIKE A PIECE OF THE PIE WAS MISSING BUT WE CONTINUED ON AS BEST WE COULD. THE NEW YEAR CAME IN AND CHRIS AND I SAID OUR FIRST "HAPPY NEW YEARS" TO EACH OTHER. MIND YOU IT WAS OVER THE PHONE DUE TO THE FACT THAT HE HAD TO WORK NIGHT SHIFT AT WORK BUT ALL IN ALL IT MEANT THE SAME.

SO NOW TO THE PRESENT TIME.

CHRIS AND I ARE DOING GREAT. WE HAVE EMBARKED ON OUR 11 MONTHS TOGETHER AND ARE STILL GOING STRONG. ITS STILL HARD FOR ME TO IMAGINE THAT I HAVE FOUND MY SOULMATE.
MY BEST FRIEND. MY HEART AND SOUL. BUT I HAVE AND I AM NOT GOING TO ARGUE ONE BIT.

THE KIDS ARE DOING WELL IN SCHOOL. THE GRADES ARE OK.

MATTHEW IS STARTING TRACK PRACTICE MONDAY. HOW THAT BOY LIKES TO RUN. HIS DAD AND I HAVE BEEN GETTING ON HIM AND MAKING HIM RUN FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW SO HE WOULDNT BE SO OUT OF SORTS WHEN HE STARTED THE REAL THING. ONE DAY HE WILL THANK US FOR WHAT WE DID. HE IS GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES AND OF COURSE WE ALL WILL BE THERE CHEERING HIM ON. THE ONE BAD THING ABOUT TRACK IS IT IS ONE OF THE HOTTEST SPORTS OF ALL. LAST YEAR AT LOWER STATE I THOUGHT MY BACON WAS GONNA FRY OUT THERE. JUST MY THOUGHTS

EMILY AND ERICA ARE DOING GREAT BEING SEPERATED THIS YEAR. THEY HAVE GOT INTO THEIR OWN LITTLE GROVE WITH THEIR OWN FRIENDS. MOST OF THE FRIENDS ARE MUTUAL BUT A COUPLE ARE JUST THEIRS TO CALL THEIR OWN.

EMILY DID GREAT WITH THE CHEERLEADING THIS YEAR. SHE GOT OUT THERE AND CHEERED LIKE A VETERAN CHEERLEADER. SHE LOOKED AS PRETTY AS ANYOTHER CHEERLEADER EVER HAS. I WAS VERY PROUD OF HER.

ERICA HAS FOUND HER CALLING, I THINK. SHE STARTED THIS YEAR WITH VOLLEYBALL. SHE GOT OUT THERE ON THAT COURT AND IT WAS LIKE SHE WAS BORN THERE. SHE SERVED JUST AS WELL AS ANYONE COULD. SHE GOT SO MANY COMPLIMENTS ABOUT HER ABILITY TO PLAY SO WELL THAT MY HEAD WAS SWELLING. I THINK SHE LIKED IT TOO. WHO WOULDNT?

JEFF IS DOING GOOD. HE HAS BEEN INCARCERATED BUT IT WAS THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED. CANDACE AND I WENT TO SEE HIM MONDAY AND I LOOKED AT MY SON IN A DIFFERENT WAY. HE WAS SO CONTENT. HE KNEW THAT HE WAS THERE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE HAD DONE AND NOONE ELSE AND HE IS DOING WHAT HE HAS TO DO TO GET HIS LIFE BACK ON TRACK. HE MADE MISTAKES AND NOW HE IS FOLLOWING THE ROAD TO THE GOOD LIFE. I PRAY FOR HIM EVERYDAY AND MISS HIM SO MUCH IT HURTS. I FEEL HURT BUT I KNOW MY SON IS SAFE. I LOVE HIM. NO MORE WORDS NEED TO BE SAID.

NEEDLESS TO SAY TIME HAS PASSED AND ALL IS GOING ALONG AS ANY TIME DOES. WE TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME AND PRAY FOR THE LORD TO GUIDE US IN THE WAY THAT HE WANTS US TO GO.

THERE ARE SOME DECISIONS THAT CHRIS AND I ARE DEBATING BUT THAT IS ANOTHER TIME AND AND ANOTHER POST. IF AND WHEN WE DO MAKE THE DECISIONS I WILL LET YOU KNOW.

ITS HARD FOR ME TO WRITE ALOT SOMETIMES AND THE DAILY LIFE JUST SEEMS TO OVERWELM ME. I HAVE LEARNED TO TAKE IT ALL IN AND ENJOY IT. SO ENJOY IT I WILL DO.