Friday, October 31, 2008

DRIFTING AWAY?

THATS WHAT I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST COUPLE OF DAYS...DRIFTING. I HAVE BEEN SO USE TO BEING AT HOME AND HAVING TIME TO DO WHAT I WANTED WHEN I WANTED THAT IVE HAD TO STOP AND RECOLLECT THESE PAST TWO WEEKS.
I HAVE STARTED THIS WEEK AT THE DOCTORS OFFICE THAT I WAS TRAINING FOR LAST WEEK. I REALLY LIKE IT. IT IS LAID BACK AND EASY GOING. GOOD THING FOR ME SINCE I LIKE THAT KINDA JOB. ITS NOT BUSY AT ALL. I HOPE THAT WORK WILL PICK UP IN THE FUTURE BUT I WILL NOT COMPLAIN UNTIL THEN. IM NOT COMPLAINING NOW, JUST A SNEEK PEEK INTO WHAT THEY ARE WORKING HARD TO DO.

LIFE HERE HASNT CHANGED MUCH. I STILL TAKE THE GIRLS TO SCHOOL, BUT I HAVE PICKED THEM UP MORE IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS. THEY LOVE THAT PART OF THE JOB. THEY TELL ME ITS JUST NOT KOOL TO RIDE THE BUS. MAYBE NOT BUT MY TAXES AT WORK...WHO CARES ABOUT KOOL. IT DOESNT HURT MY PRIDE AT ALL.

I HAVE TO BOAST A LITTLE. REPORT CARDS COME OUT WEDNESDAY. I WILL TELL YOU THAT "BOTH" OF THE GIRLS MADE HONOR ROLL. I WASNT "SHOCKED" BUT I HAVENT BEEN PAYING THAT CLOSE OF ATTENTION TO THE GRADES. WELL, THE GOOD ONES. I HAVE BEEN FOCUSED ON ALL THE LOWER ONES. BUT I AM VERY PROUD OF THEM. THEY ALSO DID NOT FORGET ME TELLING THEM THAT IF THEY MADE HONOR ROLL THAT I WOULD GIVE THEM A LITTLE PIECE OF MONEY. I KNOW SOME LOOK AT THAT LIKE ...I SHOULDNT DO IT BUT ...YA KNOW..I WORK HARDER IF I KNOW IM GETTING PAID...SO WHY NOT GIVE THEM A LITTLE BOOST. YA NEVER KNOW IT MIGHT RUB OFF AND THEY WANT TO CONTINUE WITH THE GOOD GRADE THING (EVEN WHEN MOMA HAS NO MONEY).

WE ARE HEADING OFF TO A WEEKEND PACKED FULL OF STUFF. TOMORROW IS THEIR BIRTHDAY PARTY. I DIDNT REALIZE GOING INTO THIS THAT IT WAS GONNA BE AS MUCH WORK AS IT HAS TURNED OUT TO BE. I GUESS ONCE A YEAR I CAN HANDLE IT. THEY ARE SO EXCITED.

I WILL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT SOON.
IVE GOT TO GO NOW. GOODIE BAGS ARE WAITING TO BE MADE.

Friday, October 24, 2008

FALLING BACK INTO AN OLD ROUTINE

THIS WEEK HAS BEEN A ROLLER COASTER OF THINGS GOING ON. THE MAIN THING IS I STARTED MY NEW JOB AS I THINK I HAVE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT. THE END OF THE WEEK HAS REALLY COME FAST. THAT IS UNUSUAL I KNOW BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I HAVE FOUND MY CALLING. IT TAKES SOME PEOPLE A WHOLE LIFE TIME TO FIND IT BUT I REALLY LOVE BEING A PHLEBOTOMIST(THE ONE WHO DRAWS BLOOD JUST IN CASE YOU DIDNT KNOW). THE INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE REALLY MAKES MY HEART SING A SONG.

I UNDERSTAND THE CRINGE WHEN YOU WILL READ THIS. MOST PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE TO HAVE BLOOD DRAWN BUT WHEN YOU DO ...YOU ALWAYS REMEMBER THE ONE WHO DOES THE DIRTY DEED. I TRY MY BEST TO MAKE IT THE BEST IT CAN BE. I ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT SOME PEOPLE JUST REALLY DONT CARE BECAUSE THEY ARE TERRIFIED. I UNDERSTAND THAT ALSO AND I TAKE THAT ALL TO HEART.

I HAVE BEEN CERTIFIED FOR YEARS AND GOT OUT OF THE GROOVE TO BE HOME MORE WITH MY KIDS BUT THE OLD SAYING ABOUT RIDING THE BICYCLE...YOU KNOW THE ONE...THE ONE THAT SAYS ITS LIKE RIDING A BICYLCE. WELL, DRAWING BLOOD TO ME IS JUST LIKE THAT. ONCE I GOT STARTED IT WAS JUST NATURAL.

I HAVE MET NEW PEOPLE THIS WEEK. ONES THAT I WILL WORK ALONG SIDE, HOPEFULLY FOR A LONG TIME AND ALSO THE PATIENTS THAT I MAY NEVER SEE AGAIN. THE ONLY THING IS IS IF I MADE ANYONES EXPERIENCE JUST A LITTLE BIT LESS NERVE RACKING I AM HAPPY.

I WILL START NEXT WEEK IN "MY" OFFICE. I WILL BE IN A DR'S OFFICE BUT I WILL BE THE ONLY ONE OF "MY" KIND. SOON AFTER A WEEK OR TWO ON TRAINGING ON A COMPUTER I WILL HAVE IT ALL TO MYSELF. I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT I CAN HANDLE IT. I KNOW THERE WILL BE THOSE DAYS THAT I WILL HAVE TO CALL MY SUPERVISOR AND ASK FOR HELP BUT HE HAS MADE IT SO EASY TO ASK QUESTIONS THAT I FEEL THAT I CAN CALL HIM AND GET THE GUIDANCE THAT I WILL NEED.

SO FOR NOW ITS BEEN THE FIRST COUPLE OF STEPS INTO A NEW/OLD ADVENTURE. AND FOR THOSE WHO JUST CANT STAND TO GET BLOOD DRAWN...I REALLY AM TRULY SORRY FOR LOVING MY JOB...

Monday, October 20, 2008

FIRST DAY JITTERS

TODAY I STARTED A NEW JOB. I HAVE BEEN PREPARING FOR THIS NEW POSITION FOR THE PAST MONTH. THIS JOB POSITION IS A OLD/ NEW CAREER FOR ME. YOU SEE OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL I WENT DIRECTLY INTO THE MEDICAL FIELD. I HAVE WORKED IN THE MEDICAL FIELD OFF AND ON SINCE THEN UP UNTIL THE BIRTH OF MY TWIN GIRLS. AT THAT TIME I MADE THE DECISION TO STAY HOME WHERE I WAS NEEDED MORE. I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED CHANGING FROM WORKING MOM TO STAY AT HOME MOM. IT WAS A TIME THAT I COULD HAVE NEVER IMAGINED NOT DOING. THE FIRST SMILES, THE FIRST STEPS ...AND ALL THE FIRST THAT I WOULD HAVE MISSED. MAN, I REALLY CANT IMAGINE.

AS THE YEARS HAVE PASSED ME BY I STARTED TO GET INTO THE WORKING WORLD AGAIN. IT STARTED SLOWLY AND BECAME A RAT RACE I CALLED EVERYDAY LIFE. IT WASNT LONG BEFORE THINGS SLOWED ME DOWN AGAIN AND I DECIDED I WAS NEEDED AT HOME AGAIN. SO ...I CAME HOME FOR A SHORT WHILE. I HAVE HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO WORK FROM HOME DOING A SECOND CAREER THAT I PICKED UP ALONG THE ROAD OF LIFE. IT HAS BEEN MARVELOUS. SEEING MY TWO GIRLS GET OFF THE BUS AND SMILE WHEN THEY SEE ME STANDING THERE WATCHING AS THEY GROW UP RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES. THEY HAVE GROWN UP SO FAST.

SO BACK TO THE NEW JOB. I HAVE BEEN TRYING FOR AWHILE TO FIND A PART TIME JOB THAT WAS JUST RIGHT. I HAVE HAD THE "TOO HOT" JOB ..THE "TOO COLD" JOB..AND JUST HAD NOT FOUND THAT JOB THAT WAS "JUST RIGHT". I WAS CONTENT AT HOME. WHY MESS UP A GOOD THING. WELL ...THE OLE SAYING THAT WHEN YOU QUIT LOOKING HAS COME INTO PLAY. I WAS AT HOME AND GOT A PHONE CALL THAT HAS PLAYED OUT TO ME GOING BACK INTO THE MEDICAL FIELD WHERE I TRULY BELEIVE MY HEART IS.

I WILL BE IN A DR'S OFFICE, AND IN THIS DR'S OFFICE I WILL BE MY OWN "BOSS" I GUESS YOU COULD SAY. I WILL BE WORKING FOR A COUNTRY WIDE LAB AND ONCE TRAINED I WILL BE ON MY OWN. I WILL BE INSIDE THE DR'S OFFICE BUT WILL NOT BE EMPLOYED BY THEM. ANYWAY...BLAH BLAH BLAH...

TO GET TO MY POINT ...I LEFT HOME THIS MORNING WITH MY NERVES MAKING MY STOMACH DO FLIPS. I ARRIVED EARLY TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION AND THE DAY STARTED WELL. ACTUALLY I ENJOYED MY FIRST DAY. GO FIGURE. SO I HAVE PUSHED MY JITTERS ASIDE AND DECIDED TO ENJOY THIS JOB. ITS WHAT IVE WANTED AND WHAT I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TO DO. MY DESTINY? WELL, WE WILL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE, BUT FOR NOW I AM SMILING.

Friday, October 17, 2008

And the Wheels on the truck halted

A few years ago I was involved in a accident. This accident changed me forever. I am so causious now that I scare myself. I look two or three times before pulling out of somewhere and even have someone check behind me when changing lanes (if I have and adult riding that I nominate to be the side car driver). If you've ever experienced an accident I'm sure you can relate.

Well, out for an afternoon of going to the bank for myself and my bestest friend in the whole wide world, I decided it would be a nice treat to let my girls go to Mikey D's for a treat. I live in a small town with only two red lights so its not like its a big town, anyway, I had just left the bank and I preceed to McDonald's ...then I see this little brownish car pulling out of a side rode. I slowed down ..to be nice...lol...he stopped...I sped up again...he stopped...he proceeded to pull further out into the street and AGAIN...I stopped.....well the third time is the charm right...WRONG....I sped up...he slammed into me....yep people...he says he didnt see me..

Now just for the record, I drive an ARMADA. I dont want you to think I'm cold-hearted. I understand that accidents happen. I also understand that we sometimes misjudge distance. I am not talking about that aspect of the accident. I gave him three chances. Ok thats over with.

I am sitting here waiting on the adjustor to put all his notes on paper and print them out for me. I am not happy with the fact that I have to go put my truck in a shop. But life throws curves and we can either stand and get hit or duck and get missed. I think ...well there is nothing I can do. The economy is so bad right now that this Armada is at home and will continue to be here because moma cant take what they are willing to trade in for right now. Also, now that she is getting her hair colored as not to show her gray hair, she is just well mine. Thats ok though. We have bonded and I really have to say we have come to an agreement. The accident was bad because it was an accident but no one got hurt (well Emily's arm got bang up ..but will be better in time), and that all in all she protected us with her massiveness. This is why I bought her and she has proven to me that she is happy to be here. She has proven that she is here to protect us. Now mind you ..what hit us was a tonka car. Hopefully she will never have to show us if she is fit for the job against anything else. I hope she doesnt EVA want to play chicken with anything her own size or bigger. Even though she protected us ...the full credit needs to be a little higher up. And yes, I did thank him( I say this because I know Hope is asking).

p.s. I just got through talking to the adjustor and she has been put out of commission until she is well. I have to go get a loaner. I will miss her but she will be all spruced up soon..

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

WHAT I THINK?

As I was growing up I would often sit and listen to my mom or dad tell me what I should do or what I was going to do (if i wanted to live here under their roof), and wonder why dont you ask me what I think I should do? This moment in time has been poking its head into my now grown up life as I try to tell my soon to be 17 year old son what I now know what he needs to do. The blank look on his face when I "suggest" what he might do tells me those words that I hear in the back of my mind ("You'll see one day when you have kids") were true. I would only admit this to ...well ...me.
The thing I cant comprehend is how much the world is changing. When I was young(er)...I would have never and I mean NEVER talked with such sturness to my parents. I was too afraid that I would get grounded or at the worst end up with no teeth. Not that my parents ever threatened me with that, but I had an understanding from a very young age that respect was the upmost important thing to my parents. Anyone that knows of my past and has been here will testify that my mom...well she was sturn but I could sweet talk her out of a no. Now on the other hand ...my dad... he would say no and no more questions were asked. Also, if I asked him ..well let me rephrase that ...if I would even start to ask and his eyebrow raised in the slightest...I just turned my not so happy butt around and took it with a grain of salt and smiled. Did I ever test my dad ..well yes...did I ever do it again after that BIG mistake..NO. I learn fast.

To get to my point. I am in turmoil right now. I have a situation going on with my soon to be 17 year old son that I have ask myself what I should do. I know what I should do, but this is so hard. That goes back to another saying from the past that has followed us all to the present...a hard head makes a soft behind. I guess its time to let go of the little boy I would rock to sleep and sing lullabies to and hand him over to the world and see what kind of bed he makes for himself. I just know in my heart and mind that no matter what happens mom will be there to tuck him in.

So for the time being I will get a good seat..and watch the big screen of life pass by while all the good choices and bad choices are made. This is what life is all about choices right?

Monday, October 13, 2008

Another Day in Paradise

Another day has come and is almost at the end. I sit here several times a day and drift to my own paradise. You know the one I'm talking about. The white sand beaches on a far away carribean island, the one where the boats are going by as you sit on the dock at the lake, the feeling of relaxing while getting that massage at a day spa...ect.. I think you get my drift. Anyway, then I am brought back to reality when I hear my two girls screaming at eachother in the other room. I call out to both of them. "Come here both of you". With that "oh Lord" look in their eyes they slowly walk to me. After hearing both sides of the story ...I am forced just to tell them to return to their room and play nice. By the way this fighting was all because one of my girls ken doll wanted to break up with the other ones barbie. Can you believe the imagination of kids. Anyway i come to realize on finding paradise that I have my own. They are the ones fighting at the end of the hall way. Each day I wake them up. Thank you for all my sunrises and sunset with them.

I have another child ...a son. He will be 17 this Sunday 10-19-08. Anyone that knows me will understand the happy dance that I am doing in my chair right now. I dont want for those of you who dont know me to think I am at all happy about him growing up. I am not. He has grown up to be a bright young man and very handsom if I say so myself. He has been trying the paths of life and some have not been the easy or the right ones. He is stuck in this phase that he knows what is best for him. I have been patient and tried to help him out as much as I could. He will be soon finding out that the real world isnt all belles and whistles. I will soon sit back and cry in private as he tries to figure it out. (yes, i will always try to guide but I will not lead anymore)

I will invite you to come and visit me again as I try to find another day of exploring imagination in my own mind. Noone knows where my mind will take me ...until I hear "MOM" ...I wonder who will be breaking up with who next or which webkinz has dumped who..

from good ole south carolina and home of the only SOUTH CAROLINA GAMECOCKS!!!

GO GAMECOCKS!!!!