Thursday, March 12, 2009

WINTER CLEANING....APRING ANEW

I HAVE OFTEN WONDERED WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE REALLY HAPPY. IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT I AM THAT. HAPPY. CONTENT. AND ONLY A LITTLE STRESSED.

EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT THEIR OWN ROUTINE IS OF SPRING CLEANING. WELL I HAVE INVENTED MY OWN CLEANING. W---I---N---T---E---R (SEASON THAT I DECIDED TO DO AWAY WITH SOME "ONE")
I CLEANED IT OF ALL THE NEGATIVE ( MY EX BOY-FRIEND OF 9 LONG YEARS.)I GOT RID OF THE OLD ONE THAT WAS USELESS AND ALL THE OTHER STUFF I JUST DIDNT WANT ANYMORE AND MADE HIM LEAVE.

I HONESTLY AND TRULY AM GLAD I DID THIS. IT TOOK ALOT OF DETERMINATION. I HAVE TRIED TO DO THIS FOR AWHILE BUT SOMETIMES ITS HARDER TO DO THAN TO SAY YOU WANT TO. I WAS TIRED OF WHAT MY LIFE HAD BECOME. I THINK ALOT OF NERVOUSNESS WAS DUE TO INSECURITY, THE LACK OF KNOWING, AND JUST PLAIN SCARED. I HAD GOOD FRIENDS TO GET ME THRU THE FIRST COUPLE OF DAYS.
TO MY SUPRIZE EACH DAY HAS GOTTEN EASIER. ANOTHER THINGS IS IS THAT I HAVE FOUND SOMETHING THAT MAKES EACH DAY A LITTLE MORE ENJOYABLE(WHICH BEFORE CLEANING WAS MISERABLE). IT AMAZES ME HOW JUST A FRESH INSIGHT ON LIFE CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING; HOW YOU LOOK AT LIFE AND HOW YOU ACT ABOUT EACH AND EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO.

I WISH I COULD PUT INTO WORDS HOW THE WINTER CLEANING CHANGED MY LIFE. I DID DO AWAY WITH THE OLD AND GOT SOMETHING NEW. I HOPE ITS NOT BORROWED. I HOPE THAT MY FRESHNESS STAYS ...A VERY LONG TIME. I THINK ITS LIKE SOMETHING THAT YOU PLANT AND WATCH IT GROW. SOMETIMES THINGS GET A LITTLE WILTY BUT WITH A LITTLE WATER IT COMES BACK TO LIFE AND IS A BEAUTIFUL AS EVER. THATS WHAT I FEEL LIKE. THE PLANT THAT HASNT BEEN WATERED FOR A VERY LONG TIME. I WAS AT THE BRINK OF DIEING BUT SOMEONE GAVE ME WATER AND HAS GIVEN ME A CHANCE TO LOOK AT THE WORLD AGAIN. TO SEE THE MORNING SUNRISES AND EVENING SUNSETS. THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL...AND THANKS TO YOU WHO HAVE STUCK BY ME THRU THICK AND THIN. I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THE LENDED EARS. THE SHOULDERS THAT I HAVE LEANED ON WHEN I WANTED TO CRY. IT HAS BEEN A LONG ROAD AND I SEE THE HORIZON THAT I AM SUPPOSE TO BE SEEING. I HAVE A WONDERFUL MAN IN MY LIFE NOW. HE IS A BLESSING. WE ARE TAKING IT DAY BY DAY. I AM SO NEW TO THIS DATING THING THAT IT SCARES ME SOMETIMES BUT WHEN I HAVE DOUBTS HE DOES SOMETHING THAT MAKES ME FEEL AT EASE.
I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL BECOME OF US BUT I SURE DO HOPE TO WATCH MANY SUNSETS AND SUNRISES WITH HIM. I ALSO WANT TO THANK HIM FOR BEING WHO HE IS...A WONDERFUL MAN THAT HAS GIVIN ME A CHANCE TO BE ME. HE ALLOWS ME TO BE MY OWN PERSON WITHOUT "TELLING" ME OR "EXPECTIN" ME TO DO SOMETHING.
ONLY TIME WILL TELL WHAT IS STORE FOR US.

I AM GLAD TO BE ON THIS JOURNEY WITH HIM ...I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHERE WE END UP!!!